


told you I'll be waiting, hiding from the rainfall

by pinkworm



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Friendship/Love, IwaOi Week, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, One Night Stands, POV Iwaizumi Hajime, POV Third Person, Pining Iwaizumi Hajime, Post-High School, Summer Vacation, They're adults, iwaoi - Freeform, sex mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:47:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29268984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkworm/pseuds/pinkworm
Summary: summer, a reunion. things done in a drunken stupor. the fear that they could lose it all.hello, this is me projecting all my daydreams and messed up emotions on these two boys, one of them i have a crush on while i want to steal the other one's gender; you can probably tell by the way i wrote them who is who. this is more of a writing practise for other things i am working on, but i don't hate it entirely so here you go.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Kudos: 25





	told you I'll be waiting, hiding from the rainfall

**Author's Note:**

> if you are reading this, thank you! <3 mwah. excuse the errors i did not edit it oops

When Iwaizumi woke up the day after a get together party with his high school friends, he was expecting a hangover. What he was not expecting was a boy sleeping on his bed. And to add to it all, that boy was Oikawa. 

He turned around groggily, the sun hitting his face when he saw a body next to him. That made him open his eyes. Then he recognised the back of the head - he could recognise it anywhere, and that’s when he truly woke up. He got up and went to Oikawa’s side of the bed and looked at the boy sleeping soundly. His clothes were on the floor, and Iwaizumi himself was naked from the torso up.

He shut the blinds, as it was hitting Oikawa’s face directly and put on a tshirt and went downstairs. 

Things started coming back to him slowly, as he brushed his teeth. 

My parents aren’t home _. He remembered slurring his words. _

Just like old times _. Oikawa replied, a silly grin on his face, a consequence of alcohol. _

Do you want to come over and play video games?

Just like old times,  _ Oikawa said again. _

So they had come back, sometime after the party. He went in the kitchen and took the eggs out. 

_ They had walked their way back from the restaurant. He remembers wishing Makki goodnight. He remembers them walking back lazily, under the golden streetlights. _

He looked for a pan. He checked if they had milk. He went out to get the newspaper back. 

_ He remembers how after a while, Oikawa and him were walking shoulder to shoulder, arm to arm, saying nothing. He remembers Oikawa looking at him and smiling softly.  _ Iwa chan your face gets so flushed whenever you drink. If you could only look at yourself right now _ , he said and put his hands on Iwaizumi’s cheeks, holding his face in his warm palms.  _

Six eggs would suffice for both of them; if they didn’t he could do nothing, there weren’t anymore. He put the pan on the stove and looked at the clock. It was a little past eleven. The sun had made itself comfortable and the entire kitchen felt hot and stuffy. He fanned himself with the newspaper and cracked the eggs expertly in the pan. 

_ He doesn’t remember much after that, except that by the time they had reached his place, they were holding hands. He remembers not letting go of Oikawa’s hand while unlocking the door. He remembers they stumbled on their way inside, shy giggles filling the otherwise silent house.  _

He stepped away from the pan and wiped his face on his t-shirt. It carried the faint scent of Oikawa’s perfume and alcohol. He could feel his head throbbing. He took a plate and served himself. He placed orange juice on the table and turned the ac on. He ate in silence, the only sounds being a vehicle passing by and the constant whirring of the air conditioner. 

He went upstairs to check on the boy.

_ He remembers walking up these stairs last night with him. He doesn’t remember what led to this, or how, but he remembers walking up, feeling giddy. He remembers taking Oikawa’s shirt off, and he remembers Oikawa putting his hand on his chest and kissing him.  _

_ What had happened before that? _

He was still fast asleep, the room illuminated blue by the sunrays filtering through his blue curtains. He wasn’t sure how he would act when Oikawa woke up, and he wasn’t sure how it was supposed to be now. He turned around and was about to shut the door when Oikawa stirred in his sleep. Iwaizumi froze, hoping he wouldn’t wake up right now. He looked at the boy, who had started rubbing his eyes and he panicked and shut the door loudly and walked downstairs. 

_ He remembers them touching each other at places which weren’t meant for friends. He remembers planting kisses on Oikawa’s shoulders, chest, torso. He would have never dreamt of doing that in real life. He did dream of doing it, but that was different, something meant only for him. He remembers catching Oikawa’s gasps and moans in his mouth, and he remembers being the cause for them. Nothing else comes to mind after that, except a few images. Oikawa on his knees, Iwaizumi’s hands in the former’s hair, skin against skin, heartbeat against heartbeat.  _

He could feel his heart in his mouth. He had definitely woken Oikawa up. God, what the fuck was he supposed to do now? He could be downstairs any minute. Iwaizumi wrung his hands, unsure of what else to do. 

He decided to assess the situation. Okay so, they had definitely slept together. He was sure of it. He moved past it because he knew if he dwelt on if longer than required he would need to do something to calm his nerves - run ten miles (or maybe keep running and reach college even though it was shut and never return) or put his head underwater. He didn't remember what had happened before they had gone upstairs and he knew this was an important thing. He tried to think but his mind was full of Oikawa, who was now walking down the stairs. Shit. 

Iwaizumi tried his best to look calm but he knew it wasn't working because Oikawa stopped midway and looked at him with surprise. 

"Are you alright?" He asked, his morning voice making Iwaizumi feel a flutter in his stomach. It was deeper and rustic, and Iwaizumi wanted him to keep saying stuff.

"Yeah I am," he replied shyly, looking away. Oikawa hadn't put on anything but his boxers and his hair was messed up and he looked like a mess. But he also looked good, and that was what was making it hard for Iwaizumi. 

Oikawa nodded and walked past him to the bathroom. He had been spending a lot of time here since their childhood, so he knew his way around and was comfortable. He shut the bathroom door and that's when Iwaizumi let go of the breath he didn't know he had been holding. He sat down on the table, his face propped in his hands, and he looked outside the window. 

This wasn’t like him. He had never acted on whim or recklessly. All his life he had contained whatever feelings he had for Oikawa inside himself. He had tried being a good friend - heard Oikawa talk about his adventures, listened to him flirt with anything that moved, provided him a shoulder when his crush in middle school rejected him. He knew that this Oikawa was a performance and the real one was the one who sat next to him on the floor playing video games or reading out from books in a silly voice. The real Oikawa got nervous before big matches but never let anyone know except his Iwa chan. He thought of all the casual hands on shoulders, pats on the back, high fives and messing each other’s hair up after scoring a point. All of it carried an undercurrent of tenderness. But then, wasn't friendship supposed to be tender? 

He sighed and rested his head on the table, closing his eyes. His headache kept coming in waves. 

He walked back to the streetlamp in his head. He thought of what happened next, all actions deliberate and soft. Oikawa taking his hand in his, how he returned the favour by tightening the grip on his hand. He remembers walking back, the night breeze making Iwaizumi’s feelings flutter all around him. They walked to his house. He unlocked the door. Oikawa said something. Iwaizumi turned to him, and before they even stepped inside the hallway, he had cupped Oikawa’s face and pulled him closer, hesitantly. 

“Iwa chan?” He heard Oikawa. 

Iwaizumi opened his eyes and saw Oikawa sitting on the chair next to him, his bangs damp and sticking to his forehead. He was wearing a t-shirt - Iwaizumi’s.

He got up and looked at him. The new memory which had come back to him made it even harder to look at Oikawa who was staring at him intently. 

“I made eggs,” he said finally.

“Oh,” Oikawa replied. 

He got up and piled the eggs in a plate and brought it to Oikawa. He placed a glass of orange juice next to it. “Will help with the hangover,” he mumbled as his arm brushed against Oikawa’s shoulder. 

“Thank you,” Oikawa smiled. Iwaizumi nodded and sat next to him.

“Do you not want to eat?”

“I already ate.”

“Ah, okay,” Oikawa scooped a bit in his chopsticks and raised it to Iwaizumi’s mouth. “Eat a little with me, I don’t like eating alone.”

With no idea what to do, Iwaizumi opened his mouth. Oikawa patted his cheek and went back to his food. 

They spent the rest of breakfast in silence. Oikawa got up to place the dishes in the sink and Iwazumi saw the back of his thighs, and he had to physically stop himself from not dying of embarrassment at seeing the marks on them. What the hell had gotten into him last night? He was sure his face was burning red. He looked away.

Oikawa walked to him and sat next to him, putting his head on the table, looking up at Iwaizumi. His eyes were so fucking earnest, if Iwaizumi still had any remaining alcohol in him he would have kissed him again. 

“What are you thinking?” Oikawa asked.

He shook his head. “Nothing.”

Oikawa extended his arm and traced patterns on Iwaizumi’s arm lightly, which was resting on the table. Iwaizumi couldn't help but shudder. Oikawa smiled, aware of the effect. He traced starting from his elbow, lengthwise and stopped when he reached his palm. Iwaizumi laid his palm flat on the table, facing upwards and Oikawa put his hand in his, holding it lightly. 

“About last night,” Iwaizumi started, softly. He looked at Oikawa who seemed to have grown alert. 

“Mhmm?” his throat made a noise.

“I, uh, we were drunk.”

“We were.”

“And the details are foggy.”

“Hmm?”

Iwaizumi didn’t know where he was going with it. He felt so nervous. What was he supposed to say next?

“Do you remember what you said to me, before we went upstairs?”

Iwaizumi wracked his brain but came up with nothing. “No, I am sorry.”

“Oh. Okay,” Oikawa said, sitting straight up. He looked disappointed. Iwaizumi knew whatever he said was important enough, if it made Oikawa wear the expression he used to have when he missed the ice cream truck when they were five. 

“I am sorry, I am trying to remember it all, but I just remember we, uh, kissed. And then,” he shrugged weakly. 

“Yeah, it’s okay.”

“This was a heat of the moment thing I guess, I mean, we were drunk and didn’t you say you were sort of seeing someone back at the training centre? I mean, I am sorry,” he knew he was rambling and he knew these were all wrong words by the way Oikawa’s face contorted into varying degrees of shock. 

“Yeah, this was not a big deal. What you said then and later on was also probably just you being drunk,” he said, his voice small. The ac seemed to get louder with every passing moment. Iwaizumi restlessly kneaded his hands into his thighs, looking down. He was messing it all up right now.

“Anyways, I should go, I won’t be long,” Oikawa said, “thank you for the food.”

Iwaizumi tried stopping him but the boy went upstairs. He came down wearing his jeans. 

“I am sorry,” Iwaizumi said, as Oikawa put on his shoes. 

“You’re just messing it up.”

“Let’s talk about it.”

“I am embarrassed now. If you ever remember what you said to me last night, come to me then. We will talk,” he offered a weak smile and Iwaizumi almost reached out to touch him. 

He nodded instead. 

Oikawa looked at him one last time before making his way out of the door, shutting it quietly behind him. The same door they had walked in together last night, and had stepped into a new palace, somewhere outside of their friendship. He was now standing alone there, because of his own faults, staring at the door which was shut kindly yet firmly in his face. 

He walked inside. 

* * *

Three days had passed since then. Iwaizumi looked at his phone and then put it down. He wasn’t sure what he would say to him. He walked around in a daze, unsure of what to do. If this was just the beginning of summer, how brutal would life get by the end? 

He was laying on his bed, with the curtains drawn when he heard the bell ring. He got up lazily and made his way to the door. 

It was Makki. 

“Where are you these days? Let’s go swimming? I asked Oikawa but he was on his way to meet Hinata and Tobio,” he said as he walked inside. 

“I don’t feel like it today, let’s go someday else,” Iwaizumi said.

“Why? Are you sick?”

Iwaizumi shook his head. Makki made his way to the fridge and took out two cans of beer. They sat by the sliding door leading to the backyard.

“It is going to rain,” Hanamaki commented. Iwaizumi nodded.

They sat in silence, taking sips of the cold beer. 

“Why are you looking so sad?”

Iwaizumi shook his head.

“Hey Zumi we’re not in highschool anymore, you cannot keep burying your thoughts in that little head of yours. You’re a man now, speak up.”

Iwaizumi smiled despite himself. 

“Okay so,” he started. He told him about what happened, sparing all the unnecessary details. 

Makki nodded, listening intently. After Iwaizumi was done, Makki gulped down the remaining of his beer and crushed the can. He then looked at the boy.

“From all the clues that you have given me, I can make out that you said something which was responsible for Oikawa’s good mood in the morning, and obviously, the whole…” he trailed off awkwardly.

“Yeah yeah., let’s not talk of that,” Iwaizumi said, feeling flustered.

“So maybe, you said something which you have always wanted to say to him? I mean, he may be blind but I am not. I have seen you look at him in a way which is… anyways, I think you should try to think about it, try to go back in your head and see if you find any missing links?” Makki said. “I mean, only you know the answer to it. And Oikawa. But it’s important that you remember, if you want to be friends with him.”

Iwaizumi nodded and thanked him. They sat there for a while, discussing when everyone was free so that they could schedule a match with the Karasuno boys.

“Make sure you sort this out before we start playing with them,” Hanamaki said, patting him on his arm. He walked out, waving his hand. 

Iwaizumi watched him go. He walked inside and put the beer cans in the trash. He then sat down where he had been sitting a while ago and saw the sky change colour. It could rain any moment now. He thought of things which happened that night. But when he started, he couldn’t stop and he kept going back in time.

Oikawa running to him crying about things. Them playing volleyball in their backyards all summer. Falling asleep at each other’s houses, and waking up in their own beds, marvelling about it on the phone, their parents grinning in the background. Middle school, talking about running away together. High school, girls asking him about Oikawa, him getting flustered. Their first girlfriends who were best friends themselves. Oikawa’s hand on his shoulder when he’d slump in his seat, in an empty classroom, tired from that day’s practise. Having inside jokes away from everyone, having a language of their own which they could understand from two ends of a room - without saying anything. 

All this closeness and yet Iwaizumi kept a part of his heart locked away, the one which had irreparably decided to fall in love with Oikawa, and make all these things have a secret hidden meaning which only Iwaizumi could understand. He tried to not let Oikawa know about it at all, he decided to be best friends with him, and be there for him. Wasn’t that better than being rejected? 

He put his head between his knees, closing his eyes. He hoped the missing pieces of his memory would come with the rain. He kept thinking. 

Thunder struck once, and the clouds rumbled. Iwaizumi thought of all the times Oikawa had slipped a casual “I love you,” in their conversations.  _ Thank you for the ice cream, I love you Iwa-chan!  _ Or when he had helped him fight those bullies back in kindergarten and he had hugged him tightly;  _ I love you Iwa chan, please don’t ever leave me.  _ There were so many moments like these which Iwaizumi was secretly grateful for, and also longed for. He never said it back properly, always a hushed “love you too” or “yeah yeah okay. He feared that the day he would stop omitting the I, he would come undone. It would be like declaring that  _ he _ loved Oikawa, in the entirety of his flesh and blood. And he did not want to be seen so intimately, because what if Oikawa decided he didn’t want him? Yeah, that night was a contradiction to his fears, but they were both drunk. If it really had been such a good thing, then why was Oikawa not talking to him?

He thought of Oikawa’s hands, holding Iwaizumi’s waist in them, as the boy leaned over him. He thought of Oikawa’s back and how he had kissed him between the shoulder blades that night, a memory which burned bright while everything else faded in the background. He absently touched his neck, where Oikawa had left a patch of hickeys, which were now diminished. He rubbed his palm over it softly as the sky darkened even more and the first drops of rain hit the ground.

He could not go on like this. He could not afford to lose his best friend. He did not know what he had said last night, but he knew that he could no longer keep this part of him hidden away. Not from the only one who mattered.

Maybe the rain was making him melodramatic. But in that moment, his fears were all buried in the soft earth and his love for Oikawa pattered on it, seeping through it all, a reminder that it was the most honest part of him. 

He got up and went upstairs. He packed Oikawa’s t-shirt, which he had admittedly worn and moped around the day Oikawa had walked out of the door. It was now washed. He put it in his backpack and set out, in the rain. It was silly but he knew he had to say it at that moment. He set out, locking the door.

It was a fifteen minute walk to Oikawa’s place. Iwaizumi walked as slowly as possible, trying to gather his thoughts. He held the umbrella to his chest. However, it proved to be of little help as the winds kept changing directions and his legs and arms got wet.

He finally reached Oikawa’s house. He paused for a moment, and then decided to ring the bell. He was trying to hold onto whatever words he could, and he tried to think what he would say when Oikawa opened the door. Only, it all went to vain. Oikawa’s mother opened the door and was surprised to see him.

“Iwaizumi! Nice to see you, come in come in,” she said. He walked in, apologising profusely due to the water dripping from him like a wet dog. 

“How is college?”

“Alright, they have a volleyball court so I sometimes play,” he said. 

“That’s great. Here, give me the umbrella,” she said, taking it from him and leaving it to dry near the washing machine. She led him to the dining table, and offered him tea. He accepted.

“Where’s Oikawa?” he asked, after they had talked about his family and everything else mothers like to know about. 

“He had gone out to meet Hinata I think, he called me a while ago saying he was on his way,” she said.

Iwaizumi felt foolish. Makki had told him the same thing but it had totally slipped his mind. 

“I can come back later,” he said, feeling his entire will deflate inside of him.

“No, just go and wait in his room,” she said, clearly unaware, “just like old times.”

He nodded. Just like old times. 

Being in Oikawa’s room without him had never been any sort of problem. They had always shared things, been in each other’s spaces. But today, everything felt something new. He looked at the pale yellow walls, adorned with faded posters of movies and magazine spreads of volleyball superstars, a relic from their childhood. Where had all the time gone? He picked up the photo on Oikawa’s study table, it was of their highschool volleyball team. They had won that match and it had been after a series of losses - he remembers most of them had teared up, and everyone was emotional. All these memories made them, carved them out into the people they were today. He put it down, feeling nostalgic. 

He thought of his ex girlfriend, whom he had gone out for a semester of college. He was new then, and she was a year older. Oikawa had encouraged him to go out with her.  _ She’s interested in you, and why not? You’re a handsome boy Iwa-chan,  _ he had said on the phone. Iwaizumi had made peace with the fact that he would not be able to tell Oikawa how he felt, at least not any time soon. So he listened to him. They went out, he lost his virginity to her. They broke up amicably after a semester, well, she did initiate it.  _ You’re too distant. Too closed off.  _ That’s what she had said. He had agreed, and had let the relationship go. 

After that he had never dated anyone. He spent the entire year studying and reading, waiting for something to happen to him which would make him stop thinking about Oikawa and how much missing him hurt. 

He sat on his bed, carefully. He looked out the window, the rain had found a rhythm. 

The door opened softly. Iwaizumi turned around and saw Oikawa peeking inside. The latter entered the room and shut the door behind him, as Iwaizumi got up from the bed.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hi,” Oikawa replied.

“You left your t-shirt at my place,” he said, taking it out of his bag. He thrust it forward, looking away.

“Yeah, thank you. I have yours with me,” he said and turned around to open his cupboard.

“It’s okay, let it be,” Iwaizumi said.

Oikawa nodded. They stood like that, for a few moments. 

“You like it when it rains,” Oikawa said, softly.

“Yeah,” Iwaizumi said, feeling lightheaded.

“I was at the station when it started to rain. I almost called you.”

“I was looking out in the backyard at that time,” Iwaizumi said. And after a pause, he added, “I was thinking of you.” He looked up to see Oikawa staring at him, his face soft. The room was blue, and Iwaizumi was sure his heart was glowing red against his chest. He found solace in it and decided to say it all.

“I miss you. These past few days have been terrible without you. I am used to having you around. Even when we’re away I am always comforted by the thought that I can text you or call you and you will listen to me. You know, it is so hard for me to speak about things, but with you, I feel like I can let some of it go” he said and paused. Oikawa said nothing. 

“I don’t remember what I said. But it must have been something important. You are important to me, so I am going to tell you everything I have ever wanted to, and maybe somewhere in between I will repeat what I said that day.

I have always had feelings for you. Of all sorts. Protective ones, the ones you have for your best friends, which make you want to stand between them and everything bad. I thought it was normal, until I started seeing what I felt with you was amiss with other friends, or people I went out with. Turns out I was in love with my best friend. I tried to keep it inside me… I was lucky that I had always been a quiet kid, you did not seem to notice. But it was tough, not being able to express it. What made it tougher was how easy you were with me, with your hugs, and random bouts of affection. I enjoyed it, I craved it, but I also kept feeling like I was lying. I was so confused.” He stopped. He took a breath and looked at Oikawa who was looking at him with teary eyes. “Hey, don’t cry. I can stop-”

“No, it’s alright, go ahead,” he sniffled.

“I am now feeling weird… but I also need to get it out of me. I just, I miss you all the time. I want to hold you, talk to you, listen to you, look at you. All of this sounds cheesy, but I have realised that the tenderness which I have felt for you is a reflection of how you have made me feel. I love you, Oikawa. You don’t deserve a fucked up drunk confession which leads to sex. The sex was good, yes, but that’s not how I would have begun this with you. What am I even saying, it’s all probably ended, we’re done for. I don’t know. Are we? Don’t answer, wait. I just want you to know, I do not regret what happened, but if I could, I would have had this happen before all that. But then, this is what happens when you keep pushing your feelings down I guess. That’s all, I think. I am done.” He said, staring at Oikawa directly. He felt the last of his courage slip away and he started staring at his own feet instead.

Oikawa moved forward and held Iwaizumi’s hands. He guided him to the bed and they sat quietly, holding hands.

“You said, I think you are the most beautiful person I have ever seen. That night,” he said.

“Oh,” was all Iwaizumi could manage.

“But that is not why I reacted the way I did,” Oikawa said. “Late at night, when we were almost asleep, you turned to me and kissed my forehead and said you loved me. I was drunk, but I could hear it was different. You did not say ‘love you’ but ‘I love you’ instead.

“I thought I was reading too much into it and my fears seemed to have been proved right when you dismissed it all in the morning. I felt so foolish, so I walked away. I did not want you to know that I have always loved you Iwaizumi, because it would have just been a dead end,” he said.

Iwaizumi murmured an apology but Oikawa shushed him. “You don’t know how glad I am that I was wrong. I have always wondered how it would be to touch you freely, to hold your face in my hands and kiss it all over. I used to think I was being a bad friend. But turns out we were both just trying too hard to not be of an inconvenience, and how wrong we both were,” Oikawa smiled, and Iwaizumi felt relief flood inside him, and he smiled too. 

They sat like that, quietly, shyness taking over them. 

“I want to tell you so many things about you,” Oikawa said.

“We can have a lot of time for that, if you want,” Iwaizumi said, slowly. 

“I want it. I want you.”

Iwaizumi nodded.

“Can I kiss you?”

He nodded again. Oikawa took his face in his hands and kissed his cheeks, then his forehead, followed by his nose. He whispered “I love you,” before closing the distance with his lips, and Iwaizumi held him by his shoulders, his hands wandering further, returning the kiss.

When it stopped raining and sunlight streamed through the window on the bed, Iwaizumi could see the clarity his heart had just been gifted with around him. This was a room where memories had been made and this is where he learnt love. When he looked at the boy who had his head on his chest, he felt a rush of warmth go through his body. He traced patterns on Oikawa’s back, and he could feel the boy’s soft breathing against his skin. He was happy, and if given an appropriate setting, he would have jumped up and down. But kissing the top of the head of his boyfriend was better. 

So he did that. Again and again. 

**Author's Note:**

> have a good day!


End file.
